Saturday, 12 January 2013

I Still Call Australia Home

In more news you won't read:

Foreign Minister Bob Carr is expected to issue a directive ordering all departing Australian tourists to be completely encased in bubble-wrap before they leave Australia's international airports.

During their absence overseas, they are neither to eat or drink locally, but will be supplied with hygienically screened nutrition by their local Australian consulate, where they can also live and sleep in complete safety, surrounded by their own culture, and at no time at risk of experiencing anything which may incommode, discomfort or endanger them.

A Foreign Affairs spokesperson said, 'It's clear that more and more Australians are exposing themselves unnecessarily to risk while overseas.

'Unfortunately our foreign policy currently doesn't permit us to impose Australian law on popular tourist destinations. This means that Australians who have grown up in a consequence-free environment are now ill-equipped to evaluate risk and take appropriate precautions involving not engaging in certain actions.

When asked if contemporary Australian parenting and the education system may be connected with this, the spokesperson said, 'This is short-sighted, and also engages in a blame culture which is inappropriate to this situation.'

The Federally-funded International Tourist Care and Protection Program, involving the installation of jumbo sized bubble-wrap dispensers staffed by specially-trained Customs staff, will begin rollout at Sydney and Melbourne's international airports in March 2013.

A follow-up evaluation will consider whether this scheme should be extended to Australia's live animal export trade.

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