Nakoula B. Nakoula, the so-called film-maker apparently responsible for The Innocence of Muslims, is just a smidge away from becoming a multimedia celebrity of global proportions.
He's already got the slightly ridiculous name; all he has to do now is follow my easy step-by-step guide.
1) Seek asylum in the nearest Ecuadorian embassy;
2) Appear on the balcony to hordes of fans waving placards, and make a pompous speech;
3) Annoy everyone in the embassy so much that they encourage you to beam a live telecast to the UN and insist that the United States government get off your back about those piss-ant fraud charges, when really everyone knows that they are just persecuting you for your exercise of the right to freedom of speech;
4) Make sure your next movie is really offensive to Christians and/or endangers the lives of even more US military personnel;
5) Be feted on At the Movies by David and Margaret;
6) Have a mini-series made about you.